Chemo #6 - LAST CHEMO!!!

This is it, people.  G-d willing, my last chemo ever.  That's me, waving bye-bye.  I'm hydrating like crazy to ensure as smooth a recovery as possible, and I am full of euphoric joy at the moment.  Phase 1 of this unplanned journey is almost complete.  And as bad as it was at times (and will likely be within the next week or so), much like childbirth, the pain and discomfort are a memory ~  I know it happened because I remember it happened, but the physical aspect is in the past.

Many people have told me how strong I am and have been through this all.  And I own that ~ I have always been clear that I'm a powerhouse, and chemo has proven that to me once again.  I've even had a few moments of adrenaline rushes to see how far my body could be pushed.  Not quite as fun as jumping out of a plane or the like, but the same kind of do-or-die rush I used to enjoy so much before I had kids.  I own that those may be strange thoughts, but thoughts and feelings that have gone through my head nonetheless.

And my intention is not to diminish my strength when I say this, but at the same time, it was easy for me to be strong, because the chemo worked, and I knew from the beginning it would work, regardless of the aggressive, Stage 3 possibly morphing into Stage 4 aspect of my diagnosis.  I knew from the beginning I would beat this. I cannot imagine the strength of those who put their bodies through this knowing that the cancer will kill them in the end, and do it to extend their lives, praying they last as long as possible.  People like my Aunt Judy.  That woman was a fighter, and didn't give up in spirit, even when her body did.  That, my friends, is strength of which I am in awe.  And it is a strength that I pray I will never have to find within myself, or that any of you will have to find within yourselves.

So I want to create a shoutout to chemo.  A thank you.  There are so many F-chemo posts out there, or anger at chemo (and I get it, I truly do - I don't think it's something many desire), but I am one of the blessed for whom chemo has been a Godsend.

So here is my farewell...

Thank you, Taxotere and Carboplatin.  Thank you for attacking all fast growing cells in my body and creating the miracle of remission within two cycles of using you.

Thank you, Herceptin and Perjeta.  Thank you for attacking the HER2 hormones that were feeding the cancer and creating the miracle of remission within two cycles of using you.  Herceptin, I am happy to continue my relationship with you over the next year.

Thank you Dr. Bert Petersen for referring me to Dr. Stephen Malamud (and getting me in to see him three hours later), one of NY's top 100 doctors all around (for how many years now?), who prescribed me the above course of chemo and gave me doses strong enough to push my body to its limits to get those drugs to work their magic, all the while with a nurturing bedside manner, and being available to me 24/7 (how many doctors do you text regularly with questions, and get almost immediate responses?).

Thank you to the amazing nurses and staff at Beth Israel Cancer Center, gracious, caring, involved, and making a difference in saving lives every single day you wake up and go to work.

Thank you, doctors, researchers, lab assistants, and everyone who dedicated countless hours developing the chemo and antibodies that will enable me to watch my children grow from here on earth, and giving my children the gift of their mother (and that includes you, Big Pharma - never woulda thunk...)

Thank you to the women (and men!) who were part of test studies to make sure these medications worked.  I pray your results were as good as mine.

Thank you to all of you who walk, raise money, and donate your time and energy to funding cancer research.  Perjeta has only been around for the last year or so. Herceptin, also a key antibody in my treatment and lowering my risks of recurrence, was developed and added into treatments only a decade and a half ago, and is being studied for use in other cancers as well.  And that was after the HER2 hormones were isolated.  That research is part of what your money funds when you give.  

Chemo - who you are to me is the medical incarnation of that too-strict teacher who pushes you past the limits of what you thought could be possible with blood, sweat, and tears.  I may have hated you at times, but I was always clear that your intention was to empower me to be stronger than I ever thought possible, and in the process you taught me new ways to be that will empower me for the rest of my life.

Peace out, yo.